So you’ve done your due diligence and you’ve selected the best doctor for you. You feel hopeful and even excited. You’re pulling out the big guns and investing the big bucks. You have no doubt this is going to be the answer. This doctor is going to get you pregnant for sure.
I so wish that was true. And for some women it is. They go in and bam, their 1st try is successful. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for most of us.
If your doctor tells you that you have a 30% chance of getting pregnant with an IVF cycle that means you have a 70% chance of not getting pregnant. Now, it’s funny, I ALWAYS have my patients focus on being one of the 30% but for the purpose of illustration I’m asking you, for this one minute, to look at the 70%.
Why do some women fall into the 30% and others fall into the 70%? Well, there’s a lot of speculation but the truth is we don’t really know. You can have healthy, robust, washed sperm placed in the perfect spot to meet a big healthy egg and not get pregnant. You can even have a perfect A+ embryo transferred into a perfect uterus and not get pregnant. It’s a mystery why crack addicts sometimes get pregnant easily and you, a healthy woman who desperately wants a child, is struggling.
But here’s what we do know. We know that women who are more stressed are less likely to get pregnant, even when working with a fertility doctor. And we know that women who are working with a fertility doctor have above average anxiety rates simply because they are having to see a doctor to get pregnant.
So the BEST way to be sure you fall into the 30% group is to create a personal protocol to support your medical protocol.
Your personal protocol is about prioritizing your well-being as much as your medical protocol. It might include things like daily meditation, mindful walks, writing, yoga, eating life-giving foods, taking a nap, staying positive, avoiding baby showers and pregnant friends, only watching or reading things that make you smile, and other things that are known to lower stress and keep your body aligned with the idea of creating life.
Making sure you take time out for yourself in ways that reduce stress WILL improve your chances of getting pregnant. And every doctor I know will tell you the same thing.
One powerful way to help keep your body relaxed is to have a mantra that you can use when you notice your mind going to dark and negative places. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between a thought and reality so when you imagine never getting pregnant, your body goes into panic. When you interrupt that cycle by focusing on a more positive (and realistic) outcome, your body responds by relaxing.
The way it works is this: when you notice yourself having a pity party, stop, take a long slow deep breath, and say a mantra to yourself, like “I am doing everything I can to bring a baby into my life, and I will be mother in time”. That simple act, even if you don’t believe your mantra at the time, shifts your thoughts from non-possibility to possibility. Your body calms down, which in fact, improves your chances of getting pregnant.
Here’s a few others you can use:
“I am confidant and relaxed knowing I’m doing everything I can to create the perfect conditions for pregnancy.”
“I am welcoming this process and the beautiful baby that I can sense is on its way to me.”
“I am doing everything I can to create a family and I am confident it’s going to work.”
After you write it down, put it in your purse or tape it to you bathroom mirror and memorize it. Now say it to yourself throughout the day. Even if it doesn’t feel true, say it. You can fake it til’ you make it. Believe it or not it works.
You wouldn’t miss a day of taking your fertility medication so don’t miss a day of self-care. This is a precious time and it requires that you show up for yourself in a new way. The way you would show up for your child. Make room for baby now by making room for yourself.
Remember: Who you are being during this process, is as important as the doctor you choose. So help your doctor help you.
Blessings and love,
P.S. – The Fertility Within Online Course walks you through science backed ways to prepare your body for a successful pregnancy, if you’re trying naturally or going through fertility treatments. CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE